On being a good girl:
1. Because good girls love them, make a lot of rules for yourself. Stick to them. Do not change them. It doesn’t matter if you realize that waiting until you’re 21 to drink alcohol is kind of a silly rule. Good girls are not hypocrites. Wait until the end of April.
2. Don’t allow yourself to be too pretty. Good girls care more about their brains then about their looks so if you look in the mirror and like what you see you are vain. Vanity is one of the 7 Deadly Sins and you are not deadly.
3. Do not defy people’s expectations. Good girls are supposed to be areas of calm in the eyes of hurricanes, solid rocks in times of trouble. Waves crash against them and erode them but they basically stay the same. They are stagnant. Stable. Dependable. It doesn’t matter how much hairspray or makeup you wear or how much weight you lose, to some people you will always be the ugly fat girl standing in the corner. It doesn’t matter how much self-confidence or social finesse you learn, they will always expect you to be quiet. So stop trying to be anything other than solid.
4. Be patient. You might feel that no man will ever love you, but don’t worry. When he decides to settle down you will be the girl he settles for.
5. Dress modestly. You’ll look like a new born colt learning to walk if you wear heels- adorable, but kind of awkward. Wear comfortable shoes and don’t show too much skin. Your body is a temple always closed for admission.
6. Don’t fucking swear. You’re a lady, dammit.
7. Don’t be surprised by the condescending looks that you meet. “Wait—did she just say… THE F WORD?!” You’re a good girl. How else are they supposed to react?
8. Do not question anything that your parents have taught you. You are good so they must be too. Don’t shop at department stores because the clothes are unethically made. Never ask for help because you were raised to be self-sufficient.
9. When you love someone, do not tell them unless they say it first. A good girl is always patient and puts others’ needs before her own. Swallow your feelings and throw away the key.
10. Good girls do as they are told, so when the world tells you to be ashamed of your choice of religion over secularity, abstinence over promiscuity, forgiveness over revenge, frugality over gluttony, humility over egoism, softness over screaming, obey. Write a list of rules for yourself. Follow them and do not change them. You are a rock and if you change you are a hypocrite and good girls aren’t hypocrites.
Conclusion. Be patient. Darling, you have ten rules for being good but even more reasons for being so. When the world tells you to feel guilty meet it with grace. When it turns you into stone, be supportive. When it burns you with questions, be quiet. When they ridicule you, be resolute. When they laugh at you, give them love. Because in the end, who decided that being good was such a bad thing anyway?